I was once extremely pathetic-entirely. As my diary portrays me, I was always eager to see a happy ending that I didn't let the possibility of reality into my head. That's why I was so shocked once reality hit me, that's why I was so hurt, for so long. Sure, I knew what was coming, but from what I see, I truly believed that it was going to work out for the best, and I was willing to try. I will say, while I find myself pathetic, I do admire the fact that I was so willing to keep trying and make things work. I admired the fact that I wasn't going to give up. For someone who is usually so lazy, I wanted to work at things. I do admire that, despite what it cost me.
Well, let's see... almost a year since I wrote those entries... someone I hated then, said I never wanted to talk to has become a good confidant... someone I adored became someone I despised, among other feelings... someone who I thought I could trust had revealed a different side I'm not all too sure I like... and in all honesty... I'm happier now... if only... but no... I can't say that. I mean, secrets such as those aren't meant for the Internet... those go into another diary entry, to be read next year, when my emotions and feelings have changed yet again.
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