Too Lovey Dovey, Too Heart Broken

Facebook is great for stalking people, whether you know them or not. It's fun to see someone's life that isn't your own. It's fun to not be the most dramatic person in the galaxy. It's fun to see someone act the same way you once did, and fun to know that you're not alone.

Today's random stalking includes a couple who is sickeningly in love with each other as well as a couple who broke up at the wrong time for the guy.

The first couple is all shmoopsy woopsy, lovey dovey, I love you, no, I love you more kinda couple. Ok... it's just getting sick. There are other ways of showing you love someone than just saying constantly that you love each other... because once you drop the facade of this shmoopsy gimmicky crap you realize you have nothing to go on. I'm talking about the people who go into relationships, just to be in a relationship... the people who need someone else, need to be told they're loved without feeling any regard for themselves. They depend on others to love them, so when they get in one of those "I love you" "No, I love you more" fights, they only continue to be assured that the other person will keep going. 

I have a friend who was hurt because his girlfriend was one of these people. He would assure her every day how much he loved her, because it was what he grew to know as what she wanted to hear. He followed her wherever she went, because she wanted company... but soon enough she found company with other people, other guys she preferred, and she found other people to say "I love you" and she grew tired of him, and dumped him. I wonder sometimes if she ever loved him, or if it was just that she loved being told she was loved. She found another guy soon enough... and once again, she's "in love" with him, that is, until she finds someone else to tell her she's the most loved creature in the world.

So then there's this other couple, complete strangers that facebook seemed to think I knew. They just broke up, and the guy left a long message on his facebook, similar to one I left last August, about how terrible it was to have all the memories flowing in your head. And it sucks, it really does suck. Lord, I remember those memories rushing to my brain, I remember crying so much beyond my control, far beyond sleep, ugh, it was terrible. Never again... and it hurts to see other people go through the same thing... even if I don't know them. I hate to think that there are so many people in this world who go through the terrors of a bad breakup. And I wonder if they know how to handle it. 

The thing is, when that lovey dovey person finally finds someone who she loves as well, if he breaks up with her and breaks her heart, well, will she have the self-confidence needed to get her through it? Can someone who depends so much on others be able to bring themselves back up? My experience tells me otherwise. My experience shows that you cannot depend on others for your own happiness, because as much as they'll be there for you in the beginning, if you can't bring yourself up soon, they'll get sick of it and abandon you, and you're alone again. 

Relationships are great and all, friendships are even better, and family tends to always be there for you, but no matter what, you cannot depend on others to always bring you back up. You need to find your own self confidence, and you need to survive on your own. You need to look in the mirror and say "I'm beautiful", you need to look at your accomplishments and say "I've done well", you need to look at your past and say "It's over", and you need to look at your future and realize you can do anything. That way you'll never be too lovey dovey or too heartbroken.